The day..4/10/11

        OMG!!..4/10/11..is the day for me to understand "that i soooo old, Nooo".Ohh im 21 now.daaa hahahahha.But what so special about the day is..the surprise.

        Let me tell how my surprise begin. The 1st thing that u all should know,im a suck person hahahah,Actualy i hate birthday because for me it symbolize burden,"The older u r,the more u have to face and the more u have to do"...but it's ok..because everybody face the bruise..that human isn't it.
 Okk2..i tell u how my birthday last night.hehehe,1st ask my friends to follow me to Bank islam,Well me went in group."its like we wanted to rob the bank hahah.

         Then,when i put my IC no. in the ATM,suddenly my friend saw my birth date..haaa she "Farah Amilia".well u know what happen next..1 knows then everybody knows.Then,they sang birthday song for me in public with loud voice..soo sweet!!!!!!!.."everybody was looked at me".Thanks so much for that.I wish i have Magic,so i can give back for the lovely sound they make.tqtqtq,kazrul,fikri,nazirul,farah,natasha,hanna and some sory i forgot another 2 names.Sory2 sangat2.
 
        At night.when i was surfing my FB,my housemate Azry suddenly saw my birthday wish from my friend and again it from FARAH AMELIA..hahahah.Of course i didn't expected my housemate to do some surprise.
        Well,actually i wanted to celebrate my birthday at 10 PM.so,i ask my room mate to buy Nasi Lemak jati,"they didn't know y i wanted to eat at that time"..AT 1st i noticed that Azry just put his money on the desk. so i ask him to put his money somewhere safe..typical of me to said that.He just smiled at me and said "its ok my money".

        So,i leave it there.and then i sat on my chair and play some game to wait the clock until 10pm.At the same time,my housemate prepared so something..Eee if i know it early,i wouldn't be so surprise.HAHAHAHA.

         Then,my room mate came and ask me to join them to eat but im insist.At that time i wanted to follow my plan as always.But still he wanted me to join,So he log out my FB and close the game i played.Its ok i said in my heart,just celebrated it early.

         WhAt!!! a surprise,my housemate bought a bucket of KFC...and they sang me birthday song.OMGx10000 my head can't stop saying these words.Thank you A lot for that surprise..thank you to Azry,Sahir,Fawwas,Haidar, and Fiqir.

         AND i not forgot my friends to,thnks to Wan Amry,Kak Dila,fara,uyut.because u all always wishing me  well and given me a very good bless.U all my Blessed friends.and to my family thanks for always be there for me and to THE OTHERS to.

        haaaaaaa,21..for me its a new beginning.I guess i've change a lot.Last night i made a very selfish wish..i ask something from God.no x10 i wont tell,because a wish suppose to be a secret.

Meaningful

haaaa lama ku x update blog ku..bukan nya busy sangat sebenarnya..tapi..lupe.hahahha.
   here what i should say.pertama kali dalam hidup,aku rasa sangat selfish..yea after i got what i wish for,i forgot to say something to my dearest person's>>>my friends .1st of all i so grateful to god..sangat grateful kepada Nya.sebab memberi aku kawan yang amatX100000000 baik kepada ku.hhahaha..my friends they r my light.merekalah yg memberiku semangat..of course  my family to.


  Who r they?ku byk kawan from past..i(but they r another story)i will never forget them.
hehehe..my friend Wan Amry,dia nii simple,nice guy and really appreciate he's friends.i shared a lot of stories with him.lawak bodoh ku.he really close to his family like i do actually,but in the difference way(not in the bad way).what makes me love this guy is his point of view.He taught me that.i so glad to have him as a good very good friend.


  kak Dila,haa ni kakak yg paling kuat pernah ku jumpa.she's really good independent.she's taught me to be strong.makes me think a lot.care about her friends.lawak nyaa fuuuyooo best...plus she the sun shine.dia shared cerita2 yg best2.


 Uyut@lydia marsha..heheheh dia ni best..she  so caring about her friends.lawak,telatah nya sangat mencuit hati.dia nii suka dipangil cute..and i've to admit it to,she is cute.hehehe.lovely laugh.

 fara..dia nii keci..sama hehehhe sangat mencuit hati.unpredictable person.what i love about her,fara seorang yg kuat.tinggal sendiri,point view yg sangat baik.she's cute to.hehe.


  Mereka semua..kawan2 yg ku sangat sayang.Mereka sangat bermakna.AND i thank you a lot because u make me feel so grateful,so much love,so much appreciation.im speechless so speechless for everything you all done for me.

    Thanks for praying for me.Thanks for wanted to be my friend.Thanks for giving me joy.thanks for the love u give..harap kita berjumpa and berkumpul lagi as a BARNEY group...next year..and forever!! hehehehe

Reality Hits the Ground..

  17/6: was the happiest day.I saw everything from moments,fantasy,friendship and truth.

I wonder,is this gonna be the end? hope not.Because i needed it.it is been a long time i didn't felt that way.Well,sometime  forgotten People need something to engulfed.Thanks to Them,my friends,the fantasy and some truth i spilled.

  I don't like lying.but what sad is,i always lying.i laugh when it suppose to be sad,i smile when it suppose to be hated,i make a joked when it suppose to be truth.I guess i learn it well..very well.

  Fear,i always be in fear.what a me!,whining.i guess i envy to some people who have everything,who shown everything,who learned.all this time,i taught myself.."go envy them",you might not have it all,so go envy them.So you will feel sorry for yourself,And will fight for it.

  i guess i learn life myself.So i took every mistake.i'm not saying my parent didn't show me what hard is about,but they are someone who just get out from a large wall and found a new world.So,they just knew the term "life"in their own way...I still young and i will after the things i wanted the most.maybe i not get it,but i will find the best way to live.

  i hope someday or soon,i be able to be someone like them.Them?..emm (friends,my parent,others).they shown me work hard,believe,liking something,appreciation,and to be worthy.Able to smile when it suppose to,laugh when it is to and sad when it is time to.
 
 They now became important to me,"i not saying it just a words".Yea time will keep us apart.it is ok if they were forget or they choose to stay away,or they changed and move on.but whats important,i will remember them forever.
TO;GURA,WAN AMBRY,MIZAN,NUR ADILA,LYDIA(UYUT),AUGUSTINE..and TO  ALL MY  CLOSEST FRIENDS.
   

OMG....maybe i got brain tumor.?

A funny story to begin....

  This morning is the most boring day EVER IN MY whole  LIFE!!!!,then suddenly my crazy friend SMS me(wan ambry).."hahah boring naa juak..ku best citok..duk rehat anang jelezz.." Eeeeeeeeeeee if i got a hammer i knock down his head!..Ops gurau2 je la.

  And then,while i lipat2(sory tak tau bi ape) shirt,suddenly A shirt speak to me..OMG!!! ape lagi terkejut la..sampai amy yg jaga pun tanya"nama gak dik nick?"(kehairanan).So,i just ignore amy.(sorry  no offense).
i just keep closer to the shirt..(size 11-12,white polo).

 suspected shirt said to me.."cehh...aku putih kenapa tak nak jadi hitam!"at 1st i don't believe it.and then 2nd time."heyyy aku comot ko tengok je!"..then i reply la.."lipat sendiri la..!"and then i tenung la,kesian pulak tengok baju tu takde tangan mahu lipat...so i help the shirt by hang it display.

  After a few minutes,i stare at the shirt and wait for it to speak again...hhahhahaha.that shirt said to me.."oiii,ko jadi baju jap aku jadi kau kejap boleh tak?..i laugh alone and said "gila punya baju"berangan mok jadi aku!...

  i started to felt something Eerie..so i ran to amy counter..and sit there for awhile.time past by..we talk,but i dont say anything about the incident...then i return to my counter.i stared at the shirt..IT sad..So sad,until i touch it and said"don't worry you will be free someday."

  MY friends dont worry!,i don't have brain tumor..maybe, because "i felt  the air also cry for sounds"
 

Someone like you...(she and he)

I guess....world would looked at me differently.but im me.people said,"throw a stone and you hide your hands"you can lie but you can't hide the truth.I guess that's me.

 i am someone who never believe that God can do things.yes...to tell u the truth,i am someone who hates God but in the same time love God.Well,i thanks God for giving me life that much better than any unfortunate people.

  Can i find Someone Like You?i guess maybe..only time will shown me.To shared;i fall in love with 2 people.
A person who laugh at me and a person who have someone(school mate).

  i can't choose both of them or any single one because i choose not to.They're the people i afraid to hurt.They have something that worth to have rather then me.So,i just stayed and looked at both of them.be there for them,cry for them,listen to them and just liked them.that's enough for me.i never lie about the feeling but i choose to silent so that, i don't make a mess.it is better to let it be..

  Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.Who would have known how bittersweet would taste?.Never mind i'll find someone like you.I wish nothing but the best for both of them.Don't forget me i beg.

  No one will knows,someday maybe i'll find the one.i don't care who ever that person is.Because i believe love could be anythings.I don't care what the holy said.sin is made if you lie.living with lies is more hurtful then living with the truth.i guess that's all i can shared..

Precious

Every little things we see in life is so precious.your bed,computer,books,friends,and more are the tiny pieces that joint and create a memory.

  i saw people who knew death is in the way.they stop and stared at the stuff they once have.Cry and said..Ohh 'i lived"..

 For me,i've too many precious moments.I treasured the moment the best i can by remembering.

  Once,i have laughed that sincere,joked that i truly mean(not faking it),and friends that shared every things.Now,every things change.it's true what people said "friends come and go","laugh come and go" but "sadness always there and follow."I guess we all go  through this stage.
  Even so,i believe every moments taught us something...that is To APPRECIATES...
For now on,i'll appreciates everything,be grateful of what i have.And  i'll treasure it with my heart.
                                       BECAUSE EVERY THINGS IS PRECIOUS.

I decided not to tell......

i hope it(can't tell who) will understand.....this is a piece within my heart that i can't tell.but i choose to let it go here....
      i fall in love with judas which has jesus in it heart's.the one who i fell for is someone who far better.
one looked and i think,am i worth it?,should i say something?,should i tell?..

 NO!....just like WHAT i said."im decided not to tell.

   WHY??
because i'm not worth it for it
because i don't have the right to do so
because i choose to be the shadow..
because it have something to cling to, which is better then me.
because it have something to chase and i don't have the right to change it/or to stop it.
because i don't want to be the one who make it believe that sin can be alter.
because i don't want to ruin the things that already build..

   it is ok for me...being the shadow is enough and just to believe in it is far worth it then telling and dealing with the consequences.

i use "it" i don't mean animal/object ok...

by doing this..i so proud because i protecting it.

The Differences Of walls..

Have you wonder?what makes age so difference.?......JOKES!!!!...perbezaan antara umur dapat diketahui melalui cara bergurau.

   We born,then we crawling,and walk,then rest(bye2 die).That is how we see life roughly.The level of jokes also difference, Most people can't see it because it's so insignificant to them.

  AGE is like a WALL.baby(from 1day -7years old),(kids 8-12years old),(young teenage 13-16 years old),(old teen 17-24 years old),(adult 27-infinity).(25-26 years old is the wondering age,lost)

If you notice,joke is difference according to age. aku masih ingat lagi,masa sekolah rendah,aku akan  buat lawak tentang kartoon,apa lagi kartoon "oggy and the cockroach".setaip kali buat lawak mest base on kartoon tu.ketawapun pecah perut.

  and then,we move on to teenage life.Lawak nya pun lain.we used to laugh at the things people wore.lawak yang dibuatpun base of people."banding lagi muka org macam beruk,or sapa yang paling pelik/sapa cara jalan macam org cacat."hina cikgu...

 and then,old teenage.haaaa stage ni dah tukar lawaknya.ehmmmmm aaaaaa!!!! tau tau la..mesti tentang gerek/sex/rule.tahap ni paling bnyak sebar gosip gerek and joke about it,gurau tentang sex tapi masih tertutup..hahahah just among guys only(laki laki la!!pempoun pompuan la)tu la yang aku dengar dulu.
budak2 masa tu mesti akan cerita the move dalam sex and joke about it(for guys la).and then,girls masa tu mesti joking tentang gerek org.(tau la banding2 bf,sapa lebih handsome/kotor/pelik dan banyak la).lepas tu cuba create rule,pelik2 lagi tu,lepas tu ketawa dengan rule yang dibuat.

  THEN,adult,yaaa i know im not adult yet,but i listening to their jokes,sangat berbeza.hahahahhaa....tahap ni,unisex Oiiii!!!!,ponpuan laki sama je....masa ni la org besar selamber je buat lawak(muka tak ketawa..selmaber je sebut,aku yang ketawa!heiii.!,Most of all,i listen to things that related to sex life.hahaha ya,siap dengan action lagi.like today wan,syawa,and me are laughing to the death...i blame the jokes.lepas tu pulak,buat cerita bulak(semuanya tentang sex,kelakian/kelembutan dan customer(tentang orang la tu).

  Bila aku berfikir,tak sabar la pula merasai kehidupan adult.because in that age,you stop judging.everything will became equal.BUT,whats make me sad is,if you a adult,so you have to make choices.too many sacrifices,you become cruel(in the good way)but still bad.selfish and desperate.ahahha..but we a human.from what i know"god will never give a task that we can't handle"...so i stick to it,i'll remember.

  Age is like a wall,each time you break the wall,you'll see a new you.OF course the way you make jokes also changed.
.............joking tu joking la jugak...tapi jangan sampai persahabatan tu rengang.remember that ok(to reader).haaha kalau ada la tu.

 

What a funny day..

Hmmmm,i wish the time to freeze,aku tersedar,kali ni aku ketawa sepuas-puasnya.it's like the old time rewrite itself where all my friends still with me.My friends joking around,Wan,Dila,Syawal,me,Mat and mizan.Thanks to them because since i work there i learn so many things."i can't say much about that,but their smile and laugh make me realize that i alive.hmm ya maybe some not understand,its ok.

   Until now i still remember the jokes,shared things,and events that makes me happy.Before,i just smile to keep warm,hold and to remind myself to respect.
   the first time i laugh with honesty.i didn't felt that way for almost 3 years.thanks GOD because u showed me them.(hahaha just now i say tq to god,it is odd for me)

SAD.....
i realize,the moment just a partial.it goes away just like that.i wonder,am i able to get such a good friends?will they remember me? are they appreciate the friendship?....,i guess they will,because memory can't be erase.

Thanks for the joy you've brought to me.!!!!

Fear..

Hantu,ular,darah,dan lain2 merupakan simbol ketakutan.Setiap hari khamis,"pweee lari cepat2,hahaha budak2 lari masuk rumah takut hantu or Mak terjerit2 ternampak ular besar cacing or pengsan tengok darah.

   Itulah ketakutan yang kita lihat dan rasai.

I wonder,is there true fear?,yes.....it is easy to spot.you can see them,this are the fear written in their faces

1.money

2.love

3.children

4.them self

5.words

MONEY.

   kita semua tahu bahawa money tu penting.So,we do the best we can to get some,in order to survive.we fear money because without money we can't do anything.

LOVE.

   Satu perasaan yang sangat asing.hahaha(to tell u all the truth im not the best person to say about love,but i know what love can do to a person.I saw love.)LOve change people.we fear Love because love make us feel hurt,hate and sad.Yes,love is wonderful when you have it.but painful when u lost it.Sometime fear it because love doesn't give us a choice.

Children

   Hadiah paling bermakna dalam hidup sebuah couple.Then why we have such fear of having them?....Children means Future."am i be able to give him/her the things they needed?,will i be able to see him/her grown?,Will he/she having a better life?.What are they gonna turn into? and more.it is on us to shape our kins future.This are the questions played in our mind...Whether good/bad you are,you try the best to teach your child to be worth living.

OUR Self.

   we fear to our self because of the limits.Actually we capable of doing things,No matter what is it.The good and evil inside us always be in battle.So we fear of what we gonna turn into in the future.And then "time",people i've meet,most of them are desperate holding on the time,why?because they afraid of losing it,unable to do the things they wish for.so time make them selfish,arrogant.Well,obviously time make us realize   important reasons. 

WORDS

we fear to words because words is the most powerful tool.People can use it to kill or to save.Most of us have certain fear towards words such as gay!,Fat!,slowpoke and more.words are the curse that hunt's a person life.to be free,we move away to a place where nobody knows you.Yeaa,most people done it. 

   Fear is a powerful curse.Fear played important roll in ones life.Without fear human will never understand  Consequences and appreciation.

   

Peta Kehidupan.

   Pagi tadi,aku melihat ibu bapa(parent la) shoping untuk untuk anaknya.And then,aku terdengar la perbualan parent ia.

  "father;B..i heard that your friend husband looks young what is his secret?
  "mother:Honey...,he use botox..that's why he dont have wrinkle.
  "father;Wow..i should get 1
  "mother:no!!!!! (sambil menatap wajah,lepas tu,mengusap muka suaminya.)
  "father:why?
 lepas tu parent tu terus jalan.....

I wonder,why? that mother don't want his love to get botox?

 so,i guess orang mesti akan rasa perempuan itu tidak mahu cintanya ambik botox sebab takut wajah cintanya lebih muda dari dia.Emmmm TIDAK bukan sebab muda.

   Saya rasa isteri nya sayang akan kedut2 muka di muka suaminya.kerana,dari wajah isteri itu,aku boleh nampak.Dia menghargai kedut2 itu.setiap garis yang timbul pada wajah suami nya menunjukkan setiap perjalanan kehidupan mereka bersama.Garis kedut itu simbol susah senang yang ditempuhi bersama.Garis itu  peta kehidupan yang mereka bina bersama.

   So,jangan takut kalau ada kedut2 di muka,kerana kedut2 itulah menunjukkan kita pernah berusaha mencari kebahagiaan,dan pernah merasai kebahagiaan sepanjang kita hidup.Garis kedut itulah merupakan "peta kehidupan."

   

Do u ever see a stripper???
If u strip away the outer layer,you will find that quite surprisingly .you can see the truth,every things.

    Same like us,we can see anybody who strip away the layer.they cruel,full of sadness,sometime mad.if you strip away you vulnerability,then you can see someone who cruel,and capable of doing harm.
  if you strip away your happiness,then you can find someone in sadness.they feel of the hopelessness.
  if u strip away your strength,then you can see someone miserable.they always be the victim of circumstances.
  if you strip away kindness,then you can see a person who can't appreciate.the person's will never known forgiveness.
  if you strip away you cautiousness,then you can see someone who be in use,betrayed and worst,be knock down by someone you trust the most.

Yea,we can spot them who striped away the important things,if you strip away every part,then you will found a new you,which is a monster

sempurna...

Adakah sempurna itu wujud?.
  For girls sempurna itu amat penting,tetapi adakah mereka inginkan sempurna.Maksud aku,sempurna dalam semua perkara.cinta,hidup,pilihan.

  But the truth is,no people in this world actualy want to be perfect.emmm.U all nak tau kenapa?.Sempurna tidak memberi cabaran dalam hidup seseorang.tidak memberi syakwasangka,tidak memberi kepuasan.Kita semua mahukan drama.

Itulah hidup."Drama".kita memcari kesempurnaan dalam semua org,tapi at the end kita takut akan kesempurnaan itu kerana,kesempuraan itu tidak membawa kita mengharungi kehidapan dengan baik.
cth:seorang perempuan telah ketemu seorang lelaki yang amat sempuran,i meant  his handsome,sederhana kelakuan,intim,jujur,"there is love for her in his heart".Tapi,percaya kah semua.that girl will let go of that guy.....@@!  aaahaaaa

  why would this happen?,ini kerana kita akan takut,kesempuraan itu membuatkan dia takut."bagi dia,dia akan melukai hatinya tampa sedar,dia akan mengkianatinya,semyum kepadanya dengan hipokrit.

 Sempurna,kita inginkannya but in the same time we scare of it.Ohh hanya seorang je yang aku tau sempurna >>>TUHAN,GOD,ALLAH.

  its ok if u not perfect,because we are the best,and we are want to survive in no matter what.We r born this way.Embrace yourself to the fullest.!!