Enjoy like she's does.

 Mean is my specialty. Most people called me that and i love it. i don't expect people to understand my act. hahaha i don't explain, well then, human have brain and you should use it well. if not, means that  God a shit!.
   
  Maybe some friends will thought that i a bad person. well i never believe in "bad", its just a word. There is no bad people, i only believe in bad choices. Even so, we live to be the best. no doubt . i don't pray to God to lead my when i'm in darkness, but i pray to God to thank God. Praying is just a shit if you asking to make things easier.

  Well, i love being mean because doing so would remaining myself. i never believe in forgiveness of a sins but i do believe that i thankful for the sins.
 
 Being pain in the ass isn't that bad after all. =)

i looked outside

Alone in the room make me think a lot. i keep so many things, i told people "mirror" words. naa its ok..hahahaahah.

Outsider.

A friend asked. Why you acting like that? why you become weird? why you do that? Some might think that i crazy or some says i being stupid.

 I have my own ways to check on people. well sometime my way won't fit to some people. Sometime i don't do that, it just came to me naturally. I just don't simply trust people. Even thought people says that ohh that person are in Facebook or ohh that guy says something daring at tweeter. I not seeking for fame or whatever but  for me this is the only way we can understand people, through words.

 kill them with words then you will see the true them. What if it happen to you? my mind says, no matter what words come to you, you hold on. The best is to be silence.

Promise, i shall granted on own.

 Months ago, i promised something to myself. "I know it will killed you". Its better this way because i don't wont to harm you.

 I do everything to make sure myself to stop. Someday you will understand my selfishness. You hold on to something bigger than me. i won't disturb that moments. I know, its nice to love or be loved but i won't do it if it for you. 

 Well, let go nice things because you have important things that far precious than me.

Life is beautiful without me. you will see me acting cruel, mad, and worst, i seem don't care. Time killing you, moments will make you lost and everything will killed your heart if i keep the way like before. 

  TO me, the worst things i don't want to do is killing you slowly with nice moments.

I don't care and it worth to you.

is it afraid or just the other side?

   Lately, anger inside me has come out. I think the old me and the bad side of me taking control. i punish people. i wanted to stop but i can't. voices told me to punish them. they deserve it.

   Hopefully i will stop, because it make me fake everything.

On your own

 The night proved that moon is single. More of me saying that, Nice. but the sound and the light gone. What can i  do? I did something that mad. Well, it is mad and everything gonna be mad. This week i lost my track. things happen so sudden, things became hardly. And i become desperately. Gasping some air even harder for me. This week i go for something that i hope i get. If i get it, i'm sure it'll help a lot. but if not i just can thanks for the experiences.
 I hope, what i have planned will become true. i hope it just hard enough for these days. "Hold on" is just the words i can take now. When i walked, i'd listen to my own step. Does it hurt? does it goes like your heart? yeah.. life is about step and it is gonna hurt a lot. People around just the eyes, all they can do is just stop and stared. The step i have made, i leave it there. I will precious it. Now the new step seem to be hard. I don't understand pain, asking for help. This time "time" will teach me life, pain, and hardness.
  For now, you don't ever give up. plan everything, think wisely before your act and be friends and precious the things you have. Be selfish sometime. Remember you, you are alone here no matter what.

That's what happen when you on your own.